The cast getting physically retarded on the short bus. Photo from MTV.com.

Here’s a post on tonight’s episode from GetRealDenver.com contributor Scott Lieber:

MTV feeds us something new this week. Shameless, drunken drama. Bout f***ing time. Been waiting all damn season. Good to see the show return to its roots.

The episode starts with the roommates drinking (finally). Jenn boasts that she can hold her alcohol. Then she and Tyrie have a heartfelt conversation in which she confesses that she thinks Ty is “so freakin’ rad, dude.” The problem is Ty reminds Jenn of her ex-boyfriend. Suddenly, like a non-sequitur, they agree that they’ll butt heads one day, then laugh, drink more and hug…

Minutes later, the show lays the foundation for the fight when Alex, Stephen and Ty — who call their threesome “The Frat” book a party bus from a friend of theirs. The bus is equipped with liquor, music and — what every bus needs — a stripper pole.

The roommates hit Coyote Ugly, where Jenn proceeds to tie up the straight male roommates, whip them from the bar, then dance on the bartop. The guys seem to like it, as do the camera guys, who shoot every conceivable angle of Jenn’s ass. Where’s the stripper pole when you really need it?

They return to the bus (Colie is inexplicably absent), where Jenn and Ty finally butt heads. The source of the fight? As usual, it’s Tyson Beckford, the supermodel. Davis mistakenly calls Tyrie “Tyrell” and Ty jokingly yells back that not every black man’s name begins with Ty. Jenn brings up Tyson Beckford, who is so hot, and Tyrie says “F**k that pretty boy.” Jenn takes offense and tensions rise.

Hey guys, mind if I play the meat in your hate sandwich? Photo from MTV.com.

They proceed to yell at each other for yelling at each other. Then Jenn flips Ty off. The roommates trade barbs littered with baseball metaphors. Jenn tells Ty to “Step up to the plate and play the game.” Tyrie steps to Jenn (the plate, in this instance?) before the others step in between, but Ty reassures the roommates that he doesn’t hit women. Brooke, the 4-year-old child walking in on mommy and daddy’s fight, screams “Stop it! Stop ittttt!”

Stephen holds Jenn back, but confesses that he’s afraid Jenn might strike at Tyrie and then Tyrie will strike back. When the roommate who hates gay people is making the most sense, the show has booked some crazy f**ks. Eventually, Jenn leaves the bus. She spits at Ty as she leaves, and the spit travels remarkably far. Jenn then babbles some rationalization for getting mad. “Who the f**k are you, Ty? You talk all this bulls**t because you thought you were gonna walk up in here and run this house? Congratulations, bitch. Welcome to the f***ing reality of life. You’re not the only person who has a dominate personality.” Good point.

The roommates return to the house, where Jenn and Ty refuse to talk to each other. The tension is so thick you can’t even see Jenn’s middle finger when she flashes it at Ty’s back.

Then, the resolution. Jenn confesses her father was an alcoholic and admits she may have a problem, but not before we see more scenes of her drinking, dancing and literally falling on her ass.

Coyote Ugly: So classy it’s physically painful. Photo from MTV.com.

The next day, Jenn and Brooke walk and talk. Jenn defends her actions: “No, I don’t go out every night.” She insists she only goes out about four nights a week… not counting the nights she just orders a few drinks and appetizers.

And, with seconds to spare before a convenient 10:30 wrap-up, Jenn apologizes to Ty, and they hug it out. On the aftershow, Jenn tells us she and Ty are close and keep in regular touch. Hooray!

We all learned something from this episode, I think. Namely, MTV is strained for storylines. I think I watched this episode last week. It only took MTV five minutes to start the drunken fighting this week. Maybe next week they’ll start it before the show even begins.

And any predictions on who alcoholic roommate No. 3 will be? Last week was Davis and now Jenn. My money’s on Alex, although Colie is a dark horse. Or MTV will blow our minds and make them both admit they’re alcoholics in the same show.

On next week’s trailer, we see Colie (almost completely excluded from this week’s episode) in the hospital crying with an IV attached to her arm, and MTV leaves us to our imaginations as to why. Also, we see Brooke yell at Tyrie about an off-hand joke he makes about ghettos. I think the only person left who Tyrie has to fight with is Tyrie. And I’m guessing he’ll be drunk when he eventually does.