“Do you ever wonder what the world would be like without Alex?”

– Before I post a liveblog from Get Real Denver contributor Kathleen St. John, I’ll point out that the events at the end of last night’s episode occured the night my friend Geoff and I followed the cast around LoDo (June 27, 2006). The night of this ridiculous incident, if you’ll recall.

In any event, here’s Kathleen’s post:

8:01: Opening with a rehash of Colie and Alex’s earlier hookup, we’re getting a little background on Colie’s raging hormones. Boyfriend back home, a hookup with Alex, a crush on former Outward Bound employee Adam…

8:02: Alex has made a “friend” in Stacy (a local — last name Skinner) over bottle service at… Monarck! “Stacy’s cool, Stacy’s good-looking, she’s not a roommate,” he says. She’s also already hooked up to a battery pack and mic – the true sign of “Real World” affection.

8:03: Stacy comes home with Alex. Colie is immediately a bitch to her: “You’re wasted!”

8:04: Colie is trying her best to thwart the impending nookie. “Alex, some girls called for you!” OH, GOD. Sex sounds begin emanating from a room nearby.

“Does anyone smell burning brain cells?”

8:05: Colie thinks it’s a slap in the face that Alex and Stacy are having sex in the house. It’s better than in an alley behind a gas station (remember Colie’s tryst with Nick?)

8:06: Here we go: “I feel like I’ve been treated rudely in my own house,” she says. “I think I’m jealous to a certain extent, but I’m really angry…” Colie’s working herself up into a rage.

8:07: Wow — Alex doesn’t pull any punches about what happened last night. And Colie loses it, blubbering about how much Alex has hurt her. Alex pulls the classic “I’m not a mind-reader” card as Colie dissolves into tears.

8:12: For the hundredth time, Colie asserts that she and Alex are just friends and that’s the way it’ll stay. If only she really believed that.

8:13: Brooke discusses Colie’s naiveté about guys. She’s nailed it — “Colie is a relationship girl.” Meanwhile, Colie calls Adam and arranges a dinner date.

8:14: Adam waits patiently at the front gate for Colie, who greets him with a kiss on the cheek. And off they go to Sonoda’s sushi restaurant, just a few blocks away. (Avoid the sushi. It’s kinda gross. -JW)

8:15: The lovebirds discuss Corey, Colie’s “ex”-boyfriend, who’s coming to visit the next week. Colie says they’re still good friends, and in the interview she adds that they still have “very strong feelings for each other.”

Colie and Adam drunkenly confront the labyrinthine mindsplosion that is Scrabble.

8:16: Colie takes Adam on the grand tour of the house. Brooke says Adam seems embarrassed. “He lost his job so he could be with a girl. That’s embarrassing.” Ouch.

8:17: Alex tries to parse Colie’s anger-logic while she and Adam enjoy a wholesome game of Scrabble. “This gives me leverage,” Alex muses. Why does he care so much what Colie thinks? Just let it go, brohamulus. And maybe next time you want to bone a girl that you met at a club, keep it down – for everyone’s sake.

8:22: Adam and Colie relax at home while the other cast members get wasted at Spill. And along comes Stacy. “Is Colie mad at you?” she burbles to Alex.

8:23: Dr. Alex psychoanalyzes Colie. Back at home, Colie and Adam hash it out. He doesn’t want to be hurt because of Corey’s visit next week, so they decide to just be “friends.” Nevertheless, they kiss on the lips as they part ways.

8:24: OK, is Stacy homeless or something? Why don’t they go to her place to “f— all night,” as Alex so delicately puts it?

8:25: Alex asks Colie if she minds Stacy being over. How polite!

8:26: Corey says on the phone that he “can’t wait to f—” Colie. Yowza! And then Colie forces yet another confrontation with Alex. He notes that she holds him to a double standard: It’s apparently OK for her to have multiple guys hanging around the house, but when he brings someone home it’s a “slap in the face.” He’s gotcha there, lady.

Jenn turns away in horror as she notices the mutant X-Men wings on Stacy’s back.

8:27: And off he goes to bed with Stacy. A drunken Jenn bounces home and busts in on Alex. She routs Stacy out and sends her on her way into the night. Stay classy, Stacy!

8:28: Oh God, this night will never end. Colie and Alex are talking AGAIN about their freakin’ feelings.

8:29: Alex lays it down: “I don’t want to be some third guy, or the first guy out of three … If you want to be with me, tell me you want to be with me.” Well, this is a bit of surprise, I should say! There goes my monocle!