Chris shoots imaginary laser beams into Brooke’s mouth, fusing her lips together.

– After last week’s sorta-interesting episode, in which Jenn confesses her full infidelity to Jared and Brooke meets (then quickly freaks out) a normal guy, we’re back to the wilderness. Unfortunately, that’s a locale many viewers find about as exciting as watching paint dry. Are they right? Does 69 x 69 = 4,761? Let’s check the liveblog:

8:00: Flashbacks include everyone’s favorite Outward Bound instructor Chris giving the roommates their summer jobs, and Brooke quickly growing nervous about hers. From previous episodes we all know Brooke’s a nutjob, and the implication is that she’ll lose it again on this episode. Oh goodie…

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Jared tries to pretend he cares about the word-like noises coming from Jenn’s munchkin face.

– We’ve seen some pretty ridiculous crap on this “The Real World: Denver” season, but my jaw dropped open this week. The lengths Jenn and Brooke will go to in creating drama is beyond normal human comprehension, sort of like the vagaries of strig theory. Let’s take a closer look:

– Jenn is talking on the phone to her California boy Jared, who’s hinted at visiting the roommates for a few episodes now. (We also told you about him over the summer when our spies spotted him hanging out around town, trying to look all hard and punk rock. Uh, keep trying dude…)

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Brooke contemplates whether to claw Davis’s face off with her hands or a gardening tool.

– Another week, and another episode of “The Real World: Denver” delivers the overblown, pointless and oddly watchable drama that we crave. This time Brooke loses her shizz with Davis while Tyrie freaks out unnecessarily over his relationship with the increasingly clingy Jazalle. Let’s check in with a liveblog:

8:00: Excerpts from previous weeks include the Tyrie vs. Jazalle drama (including Ty’s trip to detox) and the Davis vs. Brooke situation, which finds the emotionally mismatched Southerners courting amidst sexual confusion and copious amounts of booze…

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Outwardly bound, inwardly hating each other.

– More Outward Bound adventures greet “The Real World: Denver” cast in this installment, testing their nerves, their ability to get along (or not drink for more than 24 hours), and their way with kids. Here’s a liveblog:

8:01: Flashbacks from previous episodes include the clips of tension between Stephen and the rest of the roommates, Tyrie getting along well with the Hurricane Katrina kids, and more.

8:02: Alex and the Katrina boys hike near the North Fork Lake Creek, with Tyron and DJ at the back of the line, complaining and resting frequently. Alex tries to spur them on, to no avail. Adjusting to the above-treeline altitude must be a frickin’ bitch for a group of below sea-level newbies…

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You too can own a piece of the drunken, sex-crazed goodness.

– Want to buy a piece of “The Real World: Denver” house? Have a few extra thousand dollars laying around? Now’s your chance! As reported by The Denver Post’s gossip columnist Bill Husted this morning, the “Real World: Denver” house furnishings are currently for sale on Craigslist.

– As of this morning, the yellow Jeep bar still seems to be for sale for $8,000, as does the ski lift chair ($300), the swimming pool ($15,000 — a lot of money for something they never barely show on TV) and the ski picture ($750). Check out Husted’s article right here or read it below…

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