Don’t try this at home, kids, unless you want to end up like Adam Cayton-Holland. And maybe you do.

Most Denverites know Adam Cayton-Holland from his Westword column “What’s So Funny?” and his part in the Wrist Deep Productions comedy collective, which puts on nightly open-mic nights at the Squire Lounge and the monthly Los Comicos Super Hilarious showcases at the Orange Cat.

What’s less apparent is that Cayton-Holland, like many rising Denver comics, works his butt off performing in and outside of the state, struggling to be noticed amid of sea of other hungry stand-ups. But Cayton-Holland has an edge: “D**k Jokes for Artists,” his new DVD, is a crisp sampling of his (and to a lesser extent, his cohorts) brand of funny — a smart, self-promoting business card for any booker or talent agent that also doubles as the perfect introduction to his act.

In advance of the Friday, Jan. 30 installment of Los Comicos at Orange Cat Studios, we thought we’d take this opportunity to review the DVD, trying our best to avoid the liberal f-bombs and otherwise unprintable material that would swiftly place this blog in the realm of no-no material (at least by family-friendly newspaper standards).

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The Ettes? The what-Etttes?! Ah hell…

As their name implies, the Ettes don’t waste unnecessary time or syllables getting down to business. The fetching, five-year-old New York garage rock trio throws a bit of everything into the boiling pot, from the melodic sneer of the White Stripes and Joan Jett to the more recognizable (and occasionally retro) strains of Nancy Sinatra, the Rolling Stones and the Stooges.

The band, whose new album “Look at Life Again Soon” was recorded with famed London garage rock producer Liam Watson, stops by the Larimer Lounge on Thursday, Jan. 29. We talked via e-mail with gracious lead singer Lindsay “Coco” Hames about the road’s best hangover cures, the band’s nomadic nature and time-travelling shows.

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Nothing special at this modest, red-roofed restaurant, right? WRONG.

They tell us we shouldn’t eat fast food. They tell us we shouldn’t eat in the car. They tell this, and they tell us that. But one truth is unshakable:There is no cure for a drive-through burger jones, other than a drive-through burger. And when the jones hits, you can resist it for only so long.

Enter Griff’s.

Housed in a red-roofed A-frame all but directly underneath the Broadway/I-25 overpass, Griff’s might one day end up considered a classic relic of later-middle 20th-century fast-food restaurant architecture, a well-populated and surprisingly artful subgenre that includes early McDonald’s, A&W and Der Weinerschnitzel.

But you don’t pull into the Griff’s lot to admire the architecture. You pull in to take care of that jones.

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Our only question: Will Dio be represented, and if not, why?!

If anything screams Black Sabbath, those dark British masters who brought us such classics as “War Pigs,” “Electric Funeral” and “Sabbra Cadabra” (well, the first one, anyway), it’s a ragtag collection of sonic youth banging their songs out at a local pub. That’s right, mortal! Students from the Paul Green School of Rock in Denver will pay tribute to the sundry songs o’ Sabbath at 4 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday at the Toad Tavern in Littleton.

The shows will feature metro-area School of Rock students between the ages of 8 and 18 — some of the same brave souls who’ve taken on such rock gods as Pink Floyd, the Beatles and various punk legends and lived to tell about it. How cool are these kids? According to a press release, they were recently a part of the filming of an episode of MTV’s “MADE”. (Keen readers may also remember my profile of their summer camp in July.)

Tickets to the all-ages shows are $8 and can be picked up via TicketsWest. Check the Toad Tavern’s website for more information. And if you still haven’t had your fill, the School of Rock will also take on the Who at Arvada’s D-Note on Saturday, Jan. 31 at 1 p.m. and 5 p.m. Huzzah!

Part nightclub, part sports bar, Club 303 appeals to a refreshingly diverse crowd. Photo courtesy of Club 303.

Club 303 felt like a hit on Saturday night. A stream of customers began arriving around 10:30 p.m. and the influx kept coming. By midnight, a small line was forming at the front door as bouncers checked IDs.

The downstairs area was filling up, and Denver rocker J.D. Feighner was just getting started upstairs. People trooped between the two levels, doing laps before committing to a location.

Club 303 (2301 Blake St.) just opened in early January, so the novelty factor may have influenced the turnout. Still, the two-level club can hold plenty of people — and it was starting to look like a busy night.
“The way we made it, everybody’s really happy,” enthused owner Jay Dureja.

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